I started this article nearly 3 weeks ago…I’ve updated it now, but wow! How can I be quaratined at home and not find time to write??
April 20, 2020: When I’m trying to sit down and write for two seconds, I realize that this quarantine time with six kids is no joke. It’s Monday, so school is starting again. I am not a teacher and I am dreading the school roundup. I can already hear the four littles bickering about Fortnight or Minecraft, neither of which I know or care anything about.
How did I get here in this house with six kids? Well, there’s the four that came out of my own body and then my two nieces. My brother and sister-in-law live in Michigan and are working the front lines, one as a State Trooper and another as a nurse. I flew to Detroit and picked them up at the end of March so they could enjoy the Arizona weather (hello Vitamin D!), their cousins, and the freedom to not worry about getting “the corona” when mom comes home from work.
I had some funny realizations in the last 5 weeks of quarantine. I know how to get them to brush their teeth without a word, I’ve made the swimming pool the bathtub, I’ve forgotten what it was like not to buy the most disgusting food out there (Reeses Peanut Butter Puff cereal!), schedules can really be a good thing, and I need some peace and quiet away from the monsters so I’m religiously meditating in the morning to keep my sanity.
I know what you’re thinking about me… Oh please, #bossbabemom and #Ilovestayingathome and #mykidsaremyeverything gave me that advice years ago!! You’re just getting this now? Well, my answer to you is yes, after 5 weeks of continuous drinking, I’m just getting this now.
I’m just now thinking about all those little “helpful” hints the moms WHO ALREADY HAVE BEEN HOMESCHOOLING THEIR KIDS (whaattt?) are telling us regular (normal?) moms. Remember the damn schedules that came out during Week One of quarantine? The ones that had your kids brushing, showering, homeworking, resting, hiking, taking out the trash, reading, puzzling, until about 5pm? I threw that out right away. Who is supposed to enforce this anyway? What about the moms that told you do math with your kids while cooking? OMG, I legit thought that lady was batshit crazy. Even when “baking” with the kids, all they really do is hold a tablespoon over the recipe while I put something in it. Then I let them tip the tablespoon over. I’m not a control freak..I’m just really, really impatient! And it’s not fun at all, let’s admit it.
Anyway, here we are 10 pounds heavier (for me)… My kids keep begging for their own YouTube channel… They are glued to apps where they are playing video games and simultaneously talking to their friends (how do they do that?)… My yard is littered with socks, Frito bags, dog poop and water bottles… And I’ve somehow become this one room school house (kids ages 7, 8, 9, 11, 13 and 15) school teacher…
To top it off, since I am a huge sucker for punishment, we put our house on the market! So now with every showing request, I start running around screaming at the kids to get their bedrooms “show ready!”
May 13, 2020: Now I sit here with quarantine rules slowly but steadily lifting. The fear is still plastered on the news as they warn of round 2. My sister-in-law came and picked up her daughters, and I am back to life with four kids. My house is under contract and I’m not sure where we’re going next. I lost the 10 pounds I gained during the first few weeks of quarantine and then promptly put it right back on. I have never wanted summer vacation to come so badly in my life. I’m sick of conspiracy theories (though I believe every one of them!) And honestly, through it all, if they made us get a vaccine before sending our kids back to school, I guess I’ll be baking in the kitchen and teaching math come fall. But tonight, I’m going to look at houses to buy and eat some sushi in a real restaurant where someone else is cleaning up the mess! Thank God I live in Arizona!
