Recently my high school freshman (Girl 1) learned a hard lesson about talking behind someone’s back. Apparently, she and her friend had been hanging out with a group of 10th grade boys. One of them liked my daughter and the feelings were not reciprocated. In fact, she took it a step further and mentioned to her friend (and probably others) that he was “ugly”.
Cue that boy’s friends sticking up for him, and you suddenly have flyers being made, posted, and literally thrown around the high school (they have security footage). These flyers depict my daughter’s and her friend’s faces and make a very disgusting reference to them having had a lesbian experience in the back of “homie’s” car. Not only were the flyers out there, but a Snapchat photo of apparent evidence was also sent around to a select group (so this is what 2018 looks like…)
I happen to get the voicemail late on a Friday from the Assistant Principal explaining what she can over the phone assuring me that my daughter will tell me everything. Well, I had to track Girl 1 down to get the info. Hearing that she called the boy “ugly”, I was pissed. She angrily retorted, “So you’re blaming me for this?!?”
You know, in a way, I was blaming her. What she said doesn’t begin to justify what the boys did, but still…did she have to act so nasty in the first place? Can a guy not get turned down simply and keep some dignity? Do people have to follow up their response with a put down as well? The boy’s feelings were hurt and he retaliated (or his friends did, I’m still not sure.) The bottom line is that you don’t know what response you’re going to get to your nasty comment. People are different and reactions are different. Some can laugh it off and it doesn’t mean anything…and some can go to extremes. I want my daughter to know she was wrong in the first place. And when you do something wrong, you should prepare yourself for the consequence. Things might not seem fair and just in this world and you have to take things as they come. But please, don’t act like things are happening to you that you didn’t put out there to begin with.
I hope my daughter learned her lesson. Are you surprised I didn’t take her side completely?
